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The Oak Lawn Tales – First Date?

The three day rule is the worst. The rule that you don’t call someone back right away, but wait a little time to show that you’re really not interested? It sucks, but it’s a good rule, and here’s why: without the rule, we’d show are total freaks by calling and saying “ohmygodiamsogladyouanswerediamsoexcitedtotalktoyou” right out of the gate. You can’t understand the three day rule until you have someone who is really interested in you not obey the three day rule. Having a few days to wait before contacting the man of my dreams, I used this time to come out to Jeff. Compared to coming out to my friends in Lawrence, telling Jeff was relatively easy. He and I had become hang out friends, and I was afraid to lose that, but after coming out to my friends I figured everything would be fine. It had it’s uncomfortable moments and standard fare of FAQ’s (“So, how do you know?”) that come with the territory.

Finally the day came, and I gave him a call. That Hungarian accent that made him so adorable? Also made it hard to understand him. Another complication was that my knowledge of cool places to eat was seriously lacking, and this was before the advent of GPS. We agreed to meet at a Cafe Express across from where I worked. When he arrived he looked so crazy hot that I figured he had to be hitting a nightclub after our date, which was unlikely as it was a Tuesday. When we finally sat down to eat, he proceeded to ask a series of questions:

What’s your story?

What’s your relationship with your family?

How do you like your work?

I felt like I was an interview, but because I was determined (and because he was so hot) I answered every question, putting my own spin on the answers but responding truthfully. Eventually the conversation branched enough from his questions enough that I was able to explain myself a little bit. He also told me his background – that he was from Hungary, he was a Commodore hacker, came to the states to go to MIT, came to Dallas for his first job, and had aspirations to give fitness classes. By about nine o’clock dinner was over.

I met up with Jeff at a coffee shop after wards.

“Ever have a date where you don’t know if you went on a date?” I asked.

“Oh… are we talking about things like that?”

That’s when I learned a useful lesson: straight guys do not want to discuss your gay life. Doesn’t matter if they’re your friend since grade school – they don’t want to know.

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