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Normalized Hotness

America in general, and gays in particular, are very image driven; we’re drawn to hot people like moths to a flame. However, there is a small problem: hot people are crazy. You go out with them a few times, and while sure, the sex is great, they have so many hang ups like “taking two hours to get ready in the morning”, or “only eating what the crystal says they can”, or “wanting you to go to their Scientology meeting.” Being hot skews their world view from the very beginning where they were “teacher’s favorite” well into adulthood where they never had to pay for drinks.

The defense against the “Hot Trap” is to apply the Nick Velasquez Hotness Normalization(tm). The formula is simple:

Normalized Hotness = Hotness / Crazy

Nothing to it! No longer will you buy a drink to that hot guy at the bar who wants to tell you about new fitness plan! What’s even better is if someone is below 1.0 crazy, their hotness increases! Look how well it works!

Hotness Chart

Normalization Graph

The Nick Velasquez Hotness Normalization(tm). Never again will you suffer crazy for the sake of hot.

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